When your child “wakes up” with a night terror, go in and check on him but don’t speak to him or try to comfort him. Your child will resist and fight you, he will appear confused and disoriented, and then from this you will pretty much know it is a night terror.

Trying to soothe your child will only make him more upset, but you should not try to awaken him at this time either.

He may think you are attacking him, this may bring on fear. Instead, just let the night terror run its course, and stay nearby to make sure your toddler doesn’t hurt himself.

Your child may also be having bad dreams. Your child’s imagination is developing, and they are learning so much at this age that their imagination can’t help but carry over into their sleep. They go to bed thinking and all sorts of tricks come into their mind and that can make for a very unsettling night.

When he wakes up after a bad dream, go in and comfort him.  Stay for a few moments, that should do the trick, if needs be, stay with him until he falls back to sleep if he asks you to, but avoid bringing him to your bed; this will only make for some major bed time shenanigans!

Other common causes of night-waking in otherwise good sleepers include illness, and of course separation anxiety, which often comes around the age of 9 -12 months and not unusual it shows in older children as well.

When your toddler wakes up during the night, be soothing and calming, but boring; don’t let him feel this is fun, or else you know it will become a regular little stint!. Let him know that everything is okay, but that it’s time to sleep.

Keep the chit chat to a minimum and the lights low. It may take a few nights or even a few weeks to get back on track, but the more you stick to his regular routine the sooner the problem will be resolved.

You may have heard the news from another avenue – but I am moving on from WCYR at the end of the week.  It’s with mixed emotions of course, but in truth – it is time.  I’ll still be involved in the Centre and a supporter of the work done here. But it’s unlikely that you’ll hear my voice here again so I thought it would be appropriate to sign off here officially. I wouldn’t want you to be shocked by a new voice here someday soon.

I didn’t know what I would say or how I would say it, but I should have known my love of the blog world would come to my rescue and give the material I needed.  Let me explain.

I follow all kinds of blogs, personal and professional and one of the blogs that hybrids both of those categories is Penelope Trunk.  Penelope writes an employment advice blog – her insight has proven invaluable to me in both categories and she writes in a way that gives her readers unique insight into her life while somehow always tying it back to job searching.  She’s brilliant really.

A couple of weeks ago I was catching up on some posts that have been sitting in my Google Reader queue and there were about 6 unread posts for Penelope. I scanned through them, marked all as read which cleared them from my list and thought nothing of it. The universe had other plans and apparently really wanted me to attend to those posts and so I found myself staring at this article from Penelope explaining how she wished her top rated post on her blog was not about domestic violence.

I was confused.  I went back into the blog to see what I had missed and found that one of those posts I had “marked as read” explained that Penelope had recently been a victim of domestic violence, blogged about it and was now struggling with her decision to stay.  And I realized what I would talk about in my final WCYR blog post.

I have lived a privileged life. I am very aware of that privilege and of how lucky I am to have had the life I have. I’m also aware of how quickly it can be taken from me. I have met women over the last 2.5 years that have said countless times - “I didn’t think my life would be this way.”  I have also met women who have never truly known what a safe and healthy relationship looks like.  At WCYR we see the whole spectrum, and in my role at WCYR I have had the privilege of meeting and working with a broad range on that spectrum.  And as I’m leaving I find myself reflecting on Penelope, women like her and not just my ability to help, but WCYR in general.

It’s for women like Penelope that WCYR exists. And it is for women like her that I feel so grateful to have played any kind of role at WCYR these last 2.5 years.  Penelope is a mom of 2 boys, twice married, unspeakably abused throughout her childhood and is left struggling with the repercussions of how to exist with all of that pain in her experience.  If you read the articles I’ve linked to (and I highly recommend it) you’ll find that a couple of the choices she’s struggling with are for her children (they love her husband – their Step-dad) and for herself (she feels she will never trust marriage again if she cannot make a second one work).  This is the reality of so many of the women that come to WCYR.

WCYR doesn’t require that a woman leave her spouse.  We don’t ask a woman to navigate our programs in one specific way, or to ignore her own instincts.  And when we a woman like Penelope comes into the Centre as much as we may just want to shout “You deserve so much more! You have such potential. You are so strong.”  we don’t shout.  Instead, we encourage and we sit with women, individually or in a group, while they work through the choices that are before them.  And the most we can hope for is at the end of the day we have helped that woman make good choices.

I hope that Penelope is able to create a safe space for her and her children.  I hope that she is able to find a safe, healthy and happy relationship whether that is with her current partner or with another.  But most of all, I hope that Penelope has a place like WCYR to go to for support while she makes those choices.

Thank you readers for following along with this blog and supporting WCYR in your presence, time, talent and treasure.

It has truly been my privilege to be a part of it.

Until we meet again,

Meaghan

One of the women I was really intrigued to hear from was Jill Bolte Taylor – neuro-scientist. I’d seen her book My Stroke of Insight but hadn’t read it. If you haven’t heard of Bolte Taylor before, you’re in luck as I’ve attached the link to her TEDTalk below (just click on the picture and you’ll be taken to her 20min talk – well worth the time).

A brief introduction: Jill Bolte Taylor spent years studying the brain, and then she had a stroke.  The amazing part? She was conscious through her stroke and able to understand what was happening inside her head while it was happening.  As she puts it “how often does it happen that a neuro-scientist is able to study her own brain having a stroke from the inside out?“  Not that often.

What she experienced was each side of her brain working seperately.  Since she was experiencing a hemerage on the left side of her brain, the left (more analytical side) would shut down entirely while the right (more sensory side) would process only the energy around her without any context.  As she puts it, it was like she was an infant in a woman’s body.

So where’s the Ripple?  Well, Dr. Bolte Taylor is now touring sharing her “Stroke of Insight” that we are able at any time to access either side of our brain.  We can turn on the analytical side of our brain or we can turn on the nirvana side of our brain.  How much more peaceful would the world be if we all got a little more in touch with our Right Hemisphere? When we are stressed, angry or worried, what if we could calm that worry by telling ourselves, “This is my Left Hemisphere talking, I am more than my Left Hemisphere. I am “50 trillion beautiful molecular geniuses that make up my form.”

As it was explained at the conference our Left Hemisphere strives to be right over being happy.  Our Right Hemisphere strives to be happy over being right. So what would happen if more people watched Dr. Bolte Taylor’s talk?  Would we all try to be a little happier?  Would we all try, even for a day or a week to listen to our right hemisphere over our left just a little more?

What kind of Ripple would that make?

What do you think of Jill Bolte Taylor’s ”Stroke of Insight?” 

Have you heard something recently that changed the way you look at the world?

Leave us a comment here – or talk to us on Facebook!

The pressure to be thin. 

Did you see this article in the news last week?  About the 10-year-old Vogue model?  It’s my understanding that the editor used the model (who normally models for Vogue Enfant - yes that’s a real magazine) to make a comment on how young models are normally.  They may not be 10, but the majority are certainly not 18.

There was outrage.  Obviously.  There should be outrage about sexually exploiting a 10-year-old girl.  Having her dress like a 30-year-old woman, with pouty lips and impossibly high heels.

But it doesn’t stop here.

This week I came across this article at Parenting.com: Girls as Young as Five Treated for Eating Disorders. Now granted, this is a click worthy title and the stats provided in the study are very low (197 of 2100 cases under 16 are between the ages of 5-9).  But they exist nonetheless.  The article points to the media – implying that 5 year olds are flipping through magazines striving to look as thin as the models they see. While the expert quote suggests this is an exaggeration the study quoted shows that girls learn at a young age that thinner is better.  Thinner is happier.

Lisa Bloom published an article in Huffington Post recently that created buzz all around the internet – How to Talk to Little Girls.  Her argument is simple.  Challenge yourself to talk to girls about things other than how they look. Instead of “I love your dress, you look very pretty” ask, “What’s your favourite book right now?”  Seems simple enough, but even this is not without its controversy.   Have a look in the comments and you’ll find women who say they were raised with low self-esteem arguing they wish someone had told them they were pretty. 

So where’s the balance? What do you think?

I WANT TO KNOW:

How do you talk to your daughters?

Do you agree with Bloom – should we consciously not talk to girls about their appearance?

What about the statement made in Vogue? Is pushing the envelope to the extreme justified if it draws attention to the average age of fashion models?

How do you talk to your daughters about healthy eating? 

And finally, is this just an epidemic for girls, or should we be having these conversations with our boys as well?

Leave a comment or talk to us on Facebook!

I know. I’ve missed you too.  It HAS been a while hasn’t it.  But I’m back and lined up with new finds and hopefully valuable information for Entrepreneurs, Parents, Community Partners and all of you just looking for a good news story and staying up to date with the Centre.

Today, Entrepreneurs. It is Tuesday after all, and in case you have forgotten, that means we celebrate The Entrepreneurial Spirit! Today, I’m spreading the word about Vimeo.

Vimeo is the internet’s second leading video portal behind YouTube of course, and has recently introduced affordable video hosting directed at small businesses.  As this article from Entrepreneur.com illustrates, most small businesses think integrating video into their websites is too costly  – but for $199/year Vimeo PRO is firmly displacing that misnomer.

What’s the benefit? In this information overload world of ours your potential customers would much rather watch a video than read a lot of text to get a quick understanding of your service or product.  What’s more, customers are more likely to turn that video into a purchase when compared to internet text.

Vimeo has not endorsed this little plug, nor has entrepreneur.com – I just thought both were neat and worth passing the message along.  If there was a video to go a long with it – it would be even better… oh wait of course there is!

Click on the picture to play!

Have you used Video or VIMEO to promote your business? Share your experience with us.

This kind gentleman introduced himself  as Officer Todd Snooks and came to inform us that we had one a prize. Well, we love prizes!  He let us know that he was with York Regional Police, and he runs a youth art partnership program with some of the local High Schools in York Region.  At the end of the year, they have an art show and 20 of the best pieces are chosen and then donated to local not-for-profits.  We had been chosen as a recipient.  So exciting it’s like we’re famous!

Fast forward to last Wednesday, when our Board Chair represented the Centre as the receiver of this lovely piece of art.  She met young artist Vivian Lee,  who told Janet that she had participated in this program in years past and always chooses Women’s Centre of York Region as the recipient should she win.  This was the first year one of her pieces had been chosen.

Our new art is proudly displayed in our office for all clients and staff to see as they come upstairs and wait to see if the doorbell is working.

Our artist informed us that she had our Centre in mind for this particular photo since as she put it:

“the work that Women’s  Centre does helps bring women out of their shells.” 

We call it our Enterprising Business Incubator.  For Entrepreneurs young, we are providing support to those just starting a business or those who haven’t quite hit the ground running yet but are very close. That means, you have a business idea, and a viable, well researched business plan.  For you we are offering:

• Self-employment exploration
• Weekly in class workshops
• Networking events
• Mentoring sessions
• Access to community supports
• Experiential learning opportunities

This is a new program specifically designed for women, and is open to any woman 18 years of age or older, living in York Region.

For entrepreneurs old, and that doesn’t mean in age – just wisdom and experience, we want you too! We are currently seeking community partnerships, and mentors for the participants in our program.

There is a number of ways for you to get involved including:

• Mentoring
• Guest speaking on business-related topics
• Coaching
• Providing space for networking events
• Showcasing your workplace for a tour as an example of a healthy business

If you are interested in either of those areas – contact our newest member of staff – Geraldine at ebi@wcyr.ca

Orientation dates for interested participants available on our website calendar

The first is a chance to win one of our Favourite Things.  We hope they’re some of your Favourite Things as well – that’s why we picked them after all.  WCYR is having a raffle and all proceeds go to support our programs.  $20 for 1 ticket or $50 for 3 gives you a chance to win one of NINE amazing prizes all valued over $150 – what a deal!  

Check out all of Our Favourite Things!

The best part? Tell us what you want to win and that’s where we’ll put your ticket! That’s right, these are all individual draws! Visit our website for more details and to enter online.

And if that weren’t enough – we’d love to see you at our next event!

Join us Saturday June 4th 11am-2pm for our 3rd Annual Home and Garden Party

Last year this event was a huge success so we’re doing it again – only this time we’re going straight to the garden.  Come out for lunch and a tour of the beautiful Pathways to Perennials in Kettleby.  Tickets are just $40 and include lunch, a tour, fashion show and so much more!  Grab a friend and start planning your summer garden all while supporting Women’s Centre of York Region.

Last time Nanny Robina talked about establishing routines, this week she’s back – with more tips on listening to your baby’s cries and learning to sooth

By Nanny Robina:

Learn to listen and cue in to what your baby is telling you.

They will tell you what they want and you will learn fast if you just take the time to watch and listen to the many different cries and actions your baby shows you.

Bond with your baby with lots of eye contact, get close to your baby’s face and make lots of eye to eye contact.

Skin to skin touch and a gentle massage is also another way to get some bonding time in and of course that special time in the arms when feeding is always a good time to chat and tell stories.

If your baby cries a lot try different methods of rocking, holding baby upright close to your chest and doing squats it a very good way of soothing your babies cries.

For more information visit Nanny Robina’s website 

I also found this article from Baby Zone on Dunstan Baby Language which might be interesting for those with little ones.

Thanks so much to all who participated. Together you created a great ripple in the community.

Happy belated Mother’s Day to everyone that is a mother, or has a mother.

“The best gift a father can give his children, is to love their mother”